Shiftside

Woke up this morning after dreams of unsolved arguments.
Stood up and found that the floor was bent.
Stumbled my way to the shower,
Then shaved looking sideways at the mirror,
My left side was left uncared,
So I wade through the day keeping it out of sight.

out of mind?

There the skin is ill-fitting, a second hand dress found in an abandoned building.
Untold and unwanted, unfixed and unliked.
Brought out of depth by a lopsided morning.
This is my hidden, my shiftside.

This

Your tongue on my lips
dancing, tasting, tingling
There's nothing more than this.

Overwhelmed

A word from you,
and it's back.

You are in my mind,
overwhelmed
by you in five thousand dimensions,
by you in three thousand smells,
by you in two thousand tastes,
by you in a thousand lights,
by you in five hundred skins,
by you in three hundred whispers,
by you in two hundred caresses,
by you in a hundred kisses,
by you,
just one you.

Cards

I laid my cards wide open on the table,
as I set my bid for her to see.

She kept her hand neatly covered,
cards held against her chest,
but her eyes shone in a changed way.

I never saw what she was holding,
and she never said what was her bid.

But when I walked away empty-handed,
I knew that I had lost and won,
and she was covering no winning hand,
but shielding an open wound.

Lounging on the recess of empty spaces,
I choose my words with random nonsense,
I surrender the logic that was left in me,
and taste imaginary lips torn from remembrance.

Last of the transient moods,
first of the final stages,
I fall where I once stood,
and drown in my dark ages.

Don't take me seriously,
I'm not worth it.

Abandoning

Singing to the walls of my empty room
I find myself trying to relearn what I never could do.

For lack of any other way to go
the time draws near when I will have to brace myself
and without a sigh that could be heard
begin the bitter life of the one who has given up.

Not a sound, not a whimper,
not a crack in the worn disguise,
nothing that could wake up the sleeping betrayed.

The time draws near in which I abandon.

And

and the mess
and the want
and the need
and the noise
and the urge
and the rage
and the sadness
and the anxiety
and the boredom
and the bitterness
and the revenge
and the escape
and the guilt
and the laughter
and the feeling
and the shivering
and the kiss
and the wine
and the warmth
and the photo
and the space
and the distance
and the laptop
and the melancholy
and the screaming
and the abandoning
and the want-need-want-need-want-need-need-need-need-NEED!

and all of it tumbles through me. I NEED. Where are you? Where did you go? When did I lose you?

and it's all a failure.